"FAME"

when i was young i remember , at about the age of 7 , i had my first public dance performance ! I was so excited , i didn't know what i was going to do , what was going to happen or how anything that preceded during or after this would ever affect me .All I knew at that point was the word "ANNUAL CONCERT" as being the most magical word i had ever heard till then , something which was so new , even at the utterance of it , it would send shivers of joys through my body , for i just, in my childish mind knew it was "SPECIAL", and that was that , no further questions asked no answers needed or intended to be given . I was going to dance , in front of people ,especially my parents and that was it .

The dance was to be taught by a new teacher , MISS SARAH , a dance instructor ( that was the first time i had ever heard of the word or title and it seemed the 2ND most impressive one after teacher).I remember , thinking MISS SARAH would be someone well beyond the age of my mother or teacher , surprisingly she turned out to be very young even younger than my youngest aunt.She was the prettiest person i had seen , she had lovely long straight hair , and a face which was always glowing and smiling and the kindest eyes ever.

She was going to conduct the whole concert ,and teach different types of dance to different classes and age groups.And after she scanned the whole lot of us , and decide for our II grade class ,which girl would be chosen for the solo performance.

I remember , learning dance with her was pure joy , she taught it to us as if she were a wizard teaching his students the rarest of rare incantations .And it was bliss learning under her .

On the day of the selection process ,she lined all the girls up who wanted to dance ,then she explained she was going to turn on the music and we had to dance spontaneously based on that music, and the best one is the winner for the solo.All of us were scared ,we just thought she would choose at random which girl she wanted , i was hoping it would be me , I felt very strongly connected with her , and in my childish mind i hoped that was enough to guarantee my spot as the winner for the solo.

But this idea of hers seemed alien .Dance spontaneously ?? How , we were II graders we danced when told to dance in a know particular way and how too , not SPONTANEOUSLY , i remember feeling goosebumps and understanding what people meant by "goosebumps" ,because they certainly felt like "GOOSEBUMPS".

And then it started,Mitra please step forward , the first girl was summoned , the music switched on , she was so nervous and scared she just started jumping , and jumped all the way for 5 Min's , till she was told her turn was over .

The 2ND girl was called , Shruti step forward , again the music was switched on , the 2ND girl also jumped but tried to incorporate some form of step which didn't go with the music at all .
"OK ,thank you ",after 3 Min's


"Next Ankita ", Ankita was visibly better ,but not great her steps were better ,but she lost all her grace in her nervousness .

The music , stopped ," OK NEXT "

The procedure went on like that, for 8 other girls , the music changing and the time period given for dancing becoming shorter and shorter , the performances that followed were in the category of "the good ,the bad and the Ugly" , with ugly being the most popular ,it wasn't the girl's fault it was just everything was so new and everyone was nervous and that cost them their performance.

The music stopped for the 13Th girl .

"OK ,NEXT" ,

i couldn't help but notice , MISS Sarah's brow became deeper and deeper , clearly showing a mild bit of frustion , a trait that was so not her.

Then she called out "SUPRIYA" , at that point "Miss Supriya Dubey" , the daughter of our principle was my arch rival and enemy , the Rivalry started by her and the Enmity continued by me ,for the simple fact that she was always give the trump card because she was the Principal's daughter and ,was given preferences in everything even if she didn't deserve it , be it extra marks in orals or the chance to hold the school torch (something unheard of until you reached 4Th grade),or performing the main piece in a group dance , play or choir(even though she couldn't sing) , she was chosen , no one opposed or rather couldn't , the teachers just gave sad smiles to the ones who were beaten down by her ,and assurances of "the next time" .


The music was switched on and she started dancing using the same steps she had learnt from the group dancing , but she had confidence and wasn't in the least bit nervous , and that added to her favour of being the best ,in the group until now.

I remember ,how anger boiled within me , i felt the injustice to my friends and knew , she would go on and on how she beat everyone and I just had to beat her fair and square, period.


The worlds , "OK NEXT" followed and i took my position centre stage, feeling nervous as hell , and if i felt goosebumps before i was trembling now with anticipation , i felt scared and could feel fear creeping up through me ,but the thought of Supriya's smirky -joy -filled - pompous face , made me focus and lose my fright .The music was switched on , it was different from Supriya's , i felt a voice inside telling me -"WAIT,LISTEN,BREATHE,SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT" , i followed it , and like something supernatural and yet natural , something surreal ,and yet so real , my body moved , in a way that i had never moved before , i could feel myself turning and doing steps i had never done , I FELT ALIVE , felt the closest i had ever felt to myself , i lived for light years in that moment , and it was FANTASTIC . Then the music stopped and ,my body came to a halt by itself , i didn't even realize i had closed my eyes all along, too absorbed in the moment i had lived to bother who or what was around me except the MUSIC.When i opened them 14 girls came rushing towards me clapping and telling me i was great , i looked up and saw MISS SARAH'S face glow with joy , and Supriya's as Purple as black current and it was , one of the greatest moments of my life.I knew i had nailed it , I knew i was the winner ,and most importantly I knew i beat Supriya fair and square.

The next day , we were all lined up again , so that the results could be announced , MISS SARAH looked at all of us , but with a serious face not her usual cheery one .And said in a short and curt voice , based on yesterday's performance and after a lot of consideration the person who has been chose for the SOLO is , she looked at me and i was so sure 'ALISSA ' would come out but , "SUPRIYA" came out , and she looked away, breaking away from my gaze to Supriya.

That was the day I thoroughly understood what they meant by the phrase "HEARTBROKEN" , i felt betrayed , felt crushed so badly , not because my ego was hurt , but because i knew i had put up the best performance in my life , i had give 200 % or more , and I had never been more sure about anything until now in my life , but this i was , my heart and soul were one in agreement , and it was a huge blow.

I don't remember much ,except Supriya sneering away at me and jumping up and down in pure glee and showing off ,till one of the teachers announced practice and shut her up.I remember i had no heart at all in the practice and , just wishing the tears wouldn't come out and trying to blink them back.At the Conner of my eye i could make out , MISS SARAH silently and nonchalantly watching me .I was too heartbroken even to look at her ,for i felt even she had deserted me.

After practice i was about to run into the girl's bathroom ,when MISS SARAH called out for me , the whole class had gone and we were the only one's left.She looked at me and smiled , i kept looking down , wishing my tears wouldn't spill , she sat down on her knees and pulled my chin up so that she was looking at me straight in the eye now and smiling , a reassuring ,bitter-sweet smile.A stray tear betrayed me and she kindly wiped it ,with her fingers.Whist i started looking down again.

"ALISSA,look at me "

I slowly looked up ,into her beautiful hazel eyes .She looked at me with a stare so intense ,as if to say I'm going to honestly mean what i say, so you better keep your ears open and listen to me ,and don't you dare look away.


"ALISSA,you were by far the best dancer out there yesterday,no correction , you are the best dancer in this whole concert ! YES , in this whole concert , I know you are very young ,and all the other students are older and much more experienced than you, but believe me when I say , you have what it takes to be a Great dancer in the making ,not only a dancer but a human being, we both know why Supriya was chosen , so there is no point in me explaining.But mark my words , you are SPECIAL, the way you moved to the music yesterday proves that . Life is full of hurdles my dear , and today you just encountered one such hurdle , there are many more to come , and a lot more worse than this , BUT REMEMBER ALWAYS ,NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP ! , a great man by the name WINSTON CHURCHILL said these words ,and he rose and made others rise to greatness along with him too , these are the same words with which i live my life, and these are the words I'm telling you .Your dreams, your identity, everything that you are ,that you will always be ,that you were meant to be , your heart knows , follow it , for all this make up YOUR POWER , THEY MAKE UP WHO YOU ARE , and always FIGHT and be YOURSELF !! Even when things don't always go your way , and failure seems to be around the corner ,and everything thing seems dark and hopeless , ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART! .............................................





I have never forgotten those words ,they are forever etched permanently in my heart and I cherish these words more than anything ! True I didn't perform in the solo ,and Supriya did get the last laugh then .But from that day own I plunged head on in FINDING myself ,in PROVING my existence , in BEING "ME" in the purest way that a person has ever come in contact with their soul ,i have won and lost many wars , and learnt a lot from life , and realized , we all start from the same mark , its how we finish that matters,not where or how we are in between ,for finding out who "YOU ARE" is the most important test to pass in this world ! I've realized , we have to hold on to our dreams ,and BELIEVE , and NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP ,as WINSTON CHURCHILL said , for today I have risen as a phoenix from the ashen state that I had found myself in that day , and won the biggest battle of them all , and am the first person from the whole district to be accepted at "YALE UNIVERSITY" ,on a scholarship for "excellance in DANCE" and am going to make my mark felt in this world! I'm gonna make it to heaven and light up the sky , and I did all this on my own ,my makings beginning with a dream ,and a will to succeed moving me on from there to where I stand today ,

so remember in life "WAIT,LISTEN,BREATHE,and SHOW THEM WHAT YOU GOT -YOUR FAME"


ALISSA ROBBINS

THIS is inspired by the trailor for the movie "FAME"

"MONA LISA'S SMILE"

have u ever heard of "Mona Lisa's smile" ??
i never did ,
but i knew ,what is was , the day i met u!
they say,
its rare ,few know about it ,
and even among those who know about it,
few get to see it ,
so what does it mean ??
it means ,
that I'm the luckiest guy on earth ,
cause I've witnessed it more ,
than any other known mortal has ,
and felt its magic ,
and never ,does it fail ,
to cast its charm over me ,
and i keep falling for it ,
over and over again ,
and never get tired of its effects ;
at all!


have you any idea ,
what you've done to me ??
your grace is mystic ,
whenever I think of you,
I'm reduced to the state of a beaming fool ,
smiling , all day long ,
even when I'm at my worst ,
because ,just the thought of you,
can cause me to forget my sorrow ,
whatever its reason,big or small,
and strive to survive ,
and get through the day !
no matter how hard it has been ,
or how pessimistic my chances seem,

you do realize ,
you've caused me to act , entirely love stoned,
and never feel bad about it ,
i never knew i had it within me ,
to become someone else ,
to barley recognize myself ,
cause when I'm around you,
i hardly know who i am ,
all i know is i like the person i become ,
for ,u don't know how crazy u drive that person,
when you show him ,
your, "Mona Lisa's smile "

have ,you ever realized ,
how blue ,the skies become ,
how bright the nights seem ;with their stars
twinkling like fairies dancing away,
how fresh the air seems ,and,
how vibrant colours look ,
how music ,seems to form suddenly,
out of nothingness,
how the world seems suddenly alive,
vibrant , full of zest and zeal ,
and how happiness seems to erupt from within me,
when you show me your
"Mona Lisa's smile "

your the last of your kind ,
my dear Mona Lisa,
whenever you are around me ,
u always bring utter and pure bliss,
and ,whenever you are within, the sphere of my existence ,
I'm forever elevated and ,in another higher dimension,
you are, always and will eternally be in my heart,
the power you have over me is unbreakable ,
if this is what they mean ,
when they talk about the supremacy of ,
"the Mona Lisa's smile" ,
know that,I'm thoroughly,completely and heavily under its enchantmeant,
and I'm never ever letting you go,
whether you like it or not ,
and i am forever yours ,
just promise you'll never leave ,
cause you don't realize ,
how you steel my heart
and take my breath away ,
every single time that you show me your ,
"Mona Lisa's smile "


as usual this is again based on my friend's "lovestory" ! :)

"MEANT TO BE"

we stand alone,
i look at you and you look at me ,
we both know ,
this is meant to be ,
our being at this stage ,
and realizing that our hearts beat ;at the same pace and as one,
for the same feelings of the other are hidden inside ,
the chambers cushioned ,
with the backup of our minds ,
telling us this is right ,
this is meant to be .

how and when we came to know
this particular feeling is the one ,
which we all as humans search for,
in our unknown quest to fulfill ourselves ,
i don't know ,nor do i want to know ,
let it be that perfect mystery solved,
a fulfledged miracle witnessed ,
and let me feel privileged to know ,
god thought me lucky ,
to come across you ,on the crossroads of my life
and let me know in his own way,
that ,
this is meant to be

you don't ,
have to tell me ,
i know ,
what you feel,what you want ,what you need
i can feel it,
and don't worry ,
I'll always be there ,
you never have to ask,
just turn around , for i always am watching over you

i know ,
its the same for what you feel for me too,
although you try to hide it,
its plainly written ,
in your eyes ,and voice !
don't worry its my special secret,
i wont let anyone know ,
i wont even tell you,
but nonetheless ,
my heart feels even more strongly now ,
that ,this is meant to be


we both understand each other perfectly,
our dreams ,our ideas , our thoughts
flow through invisible channels between us ,
creating a language ,only we know
a language that , can cross boundaries ,
no matter how far ,or wide ,
thick or thin,
rugged or clear ,
telling us ,
this is meant to be

know ,that i never want to lose you,
for even if i force myself to think of such a thought
all i see ,as a possible future is darkness ,
darker than black,
for you are the only light in my life,
the light that constantly guides me everyday ,
and shows me the right way ,
the light without which ,
I'm utterly lost in this flip sided world,
and then only chaos and destruction would fill it!

we both have our dreams ,we both want to fly,
feel for ourselves what touching the sky is like,
and not let go of what we have ,
for only a cherished few, get this chance,
and believe me when i say,
i gonna try my best and keep it this way ,
no matter what i have to go through,
or give away ,
for if ever there was a purpose in my life ,
i never knew it ,
until the day i met you,
and from that day on ,
whenever i see you ,
or am near you ,
or hear your voice ,
or get your message,
i know that this is ,was ,and is
forever meant to be!


this is yet again inspired by my friend (uv's) "lovestory" ;)